I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go.
Rewind to about one-year ago:
I was extremely stressed and confused about making a decision of where to complete my internship. I had several great options before me and I made an extensive pros and cons list for the different districts. My mind kept coming back to one district: Wasatch. "But, but, it's FAR...and I don't know the schools as well and I don't know many of the other interns and, and..." Needless to say, Wasatch was not my first choice originally.
I spent a good portion of my time praying and studying the issue out in my mind and with my husband. Although he also thought that Heber was far, every time I would discuss the weighty matter with him he would say: "it sounds like you already know where you need to be."
So, Wasatch it was.
Now, fast-forward to present day:
Looking back recently on some of my intern experiences, I have felt an overwhelming sense of love. Though teaching is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I know that my Heavenly Father is very mindful of my needs and abilities. His loving (and knowing) hands have guided me to the place where I have felt the most happiness and success.
Let me share with you a few examples:
1. My confidence has always been iffy. This means that when I get into new situations I feel uncomfortable and I over think nearly everything ("Should I take away this girl's recess or am I just being dramatic?"). Therefore, I lean on those around me for guidance. My learning style fits perfectly with the guided release model: I need a lot of support at first and then gradually I am able to transition to independence.
Well, because Wasatch is such a small district, the amount of personal support I have received fits my needs perfectly. My absolutely incredible facilitator has seriously been my lifesaver. She gives me advice, cheers me on, brings me coke zeros when I am overwhelmed, etc. I cannot even begin to explain all the ways that she has been my rock through this entire experience.
From the University side, my professors have looked out for me through hugs, dinners, Christmas crafts, and a shoulder to cry on. My BYU professor will often ask: "what do you need?" I cannot quite express all the ways my support system has met my specific needs.
2. I am often shy and reserved when I enter new situations. Before the school year began I was pretty nervous about teaching in a school where I only knew one person- the other intern. I was worried that I would be labeled or judged or that I wouldn't have anyone to eat lunch with (silly, I know).
Old Mill Elementary fits me to a T. The school environment is so warm and inviting for teachers and students alike. The teachers are so kind and helpful. Often times they go out of their way to help the lost little intern (that's me). My team has been so willing to share and they even sit with me at lunch. I am incredibly grateful to be at a school where I feel like I fit in so nicely.
3. A few of my friends at Old Mill come from my carpool. Being in a carpool has made my life so much less worrisome. One of my biggest worries with teaching in Heber was the drive. Not only is it "far," but it is up a winding, narrow canyon road. There are lots of deer, cliffs, and big trucks. Mostly, I was worried about driving the canyon come wintertime. I know this warm weather has been welcomed by many but I am especially glad that there are clear roads the entire way to and from work. My carpool girls are excellent at spotting deer and policemen. The drive is a lot less stressful with them. I know that the Lord is watching out for me and keeping me safe.
4. Usually wintertime in Provo is filled with gray inversion clouds of sadness. I get so depressed and in a funk every single wintertime. I feel moody and tired and pray for summer constantly. This year, I have noticed a difference though. The sun is shining almost everyday in Heber. The air is crisp and fresh. I am surrounded by stunning mountains. I. Love. Heber. Having the sun in my life almost everyday has made a world of difference for me. I cannot imagine trying to teach whilst dealing with the "hardships" of seasonal depression. My Heavenly Father is mindful of my need for sunshine and even nature. He has blessed me with peace through countless sunsets over Mount Timpanogos. I am so loved.
There are many other ways that I have felt God's love for me as of late. Although we may not always immediately understand the Lord's will for us, if we choose to follow it, He will bless us. I know that Heavenly Father knows each of his children personally. I know that He also wants us to be happy. I know that I can obtain that happiness by being obedient- wherever He may lead us to.
<33 Amanda
I was extremely stressed and confused about making a decision of where to complete my internship. I had several great options before me and I made an extensive pros and cons list for the different districts. My mind kept coming back to one district: Wasatch. "But, but, it's FAR...and I don't know the schools as well and I don't know many of the other interns and, and..." Needless to say, Wasatch was not my first choice originally.
I spent a good portion of my time praying and studying the issue out in my mind and with my husband. Although he also thought that Heber was far, every time I would discuss the weighty matter with him he would say: "it sounds like you already know where you need to be."
So, Wasatch it was.
Now, fast-forward to present day:
Looking back recently on some of my intern experiences, I have felt an overwhelming sense of love. Though teaching is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I know that my Heavenly Father is very mindful of my needs and abilities. His loving (and knowing) hands have guided me to the place where I have felt the most happiness and success.
Let me share with you a few examples:
1. My confidence has always been iffy. This means that when I get into new situations I feel uncomfortable and I over think nearly everything ("Should I take away this girl's recess or am I just being dramatic?"). Therefore, I lean on those around me for guidance. My learning style fits perfectly with the guided release model: I need a lot of support at first and then gradually I am able to transition to independence.
Well, because Wasatch is such a small district, the amount of personal support I have received fits my needs perfectly. My absolutely incredible facilitator has seriously been my lifesaver. She gives me advice, cheers me on, brings me coke zeros when I am overwhelmed, etc. I cannot even begin to explain all the ways that she has been my rock through this entire experience.
From the University side, my professors have looked out for me through hugs, dinners, Christmas crafts, and a shoulder to cry on. My BYU professor will often ask: "what do you need?" I cannot quite express all the ways my support system has met my specific needs.
2. I am often shy and reserved when I enter new situations. Before the school year began I was pretty nervous about teaching in a school where I only knew one person- the other intern. I was worried that I would be labeled or judged or that I wouldn't have anyone to eat lunch with (silly, I know).
Old Mill Elementary fits me to a T. The school environment is so warm and inviting for teachers and students alike. The teachers are so kind and helpful. Often times they go out of their way to help the lost little intern (that's me). My team has been so willing to share and they even sit with me at lunch. I am incredibly grateful to be at a school where I feel like I fit in so nicely.
3. A few of my friends at Old Mill come from my carpool. Being in a carpool has made my life so much less worrisome. One of my biggest worries with teaching in Heber was the drive. Not only is it "far," but it is up a winding, narrow canyon road. There are lots of deer, cliffs, and big trucks. Mostly, I was worried about driving the canyon come wintertime. I know this warm weather has been welcomed by many but I am especially glad that there are clear roads the entire way to and from work. My carpool girls are excellent at spotting deer and policemen. The drive is a lot less stressful with them. I know that the Lord is watching out for me and keeping me safe.
4. Usually wintertime in Provo is filled with gray inversion clouds of sadness. I get so depressed and in a funk every single wintertime. I feel moody and tired and pray for summer constantly. This year, I have noticed a difference though. The sun is shining almost everyday in Heber. The air is crisp and fresh. I am surrounded by stunning mountains. I. Love. Heber. Having the sun in my life almost everyday has made a world of difference for me. I cannot imagine trying to teach whilst dealing with the "hardships" of seasonal depression. My Heavenly Father is mindful of my need for sunshine and even nature. He has blessed me with peace through countless sunsets over Mount Timpanogos. I am so loved.
There are many other ways that I have felt God's love for me as of late. Although we may not always immediately understand the Lord's will for us, if we choose to follow it, He will bless us. I know that Heavenly Father knows each of his children personally. I know that He also wants us to be happy. I know that I can obtain that happiness by being obedient- wherever He may lead us to.
<33 Amanda
I'm so glad you love it! I think from the stories I've heard that your kids are gonna miss you a ton too.
ReplyDeleteOne thing though - heavenly father probably put the police there for a reason... :P
Thanks for sharing the "hand of the Lord" in your life. I love reading your blog - it always leaves me grateful to have such a wonderful granddaughter. I stand in awe! Love you lots.
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